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Confessions of Incorrigible College Students

Juvenalian College Life

8/19/06 09:46 pm - darkbeethoven

So it's back to school again...




My first day is Monday. I'm already going to be skipping that day :D



I can't wait til I walk back into class on Wed, seeing the same professor I had for most of my major now (we only have three HRM professors, the other two only teach one and two classes each...and the one that has two classes teaches only one per semester), and hear the following:



WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU MONDAY?

Uh, sorry, I was home...


What, do you get LOST down there?





We have a love/hate relationship...we love to hate each other, or at the very least, annoy the shit out of each other :D 

I'm still surprised I passed her classes :D

12/7/05 10:17 am - darkbeethoven - Dear World, Christmas is cancelled...

I have been watching you very closely to see if you've behaved this year
and since you have I will be telling my elves, if I can find them, to
make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas if I can
get there. I intended to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we are having a bit of a problem with that plan as the 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD apparently from fiddling with the 11 ladies dancing. And we just discovered while we were distracted attending to the fiddlers and their no longer dancing ladies. the damn 10 lords leaping
were instead stealthfully tip-toeing around and have now knocked up the 8 maids a-milking. I just got off the phone with the police department, who asked me if I'd care to come down and make bail for the 9 pipers piping who were arrested in the park for doing weird things to the 7 swans a-swimming in broad daylight. The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up in deep bird doo
doo up to the top of my boots and I doubt I can get my sled runners movin' out of all that frozen bird shit. On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through menopause and refuses to make me any cookies or let me anywhere near her milk jugs. To top it off, 8 of my reindeer are in heat and have somehow gotten completely entangled in the harnesses and rheins attempting some artic
orgy last night and it's going to take forever to free them. The crazy elves have joined the gay liberation army in England that was started by some retired dwarfs that had been used for bowling balls in the pubs a few times too often and have been left with deminished sexual abilities, so they practice oral sex ... they talk about having it. And some nuts, people who obviously can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January. Maybe next year I'll be able to get my act together and bring you some of the things you want. This year I suggest you get your ass down to
Walmart before everything is gone.


Love,

Santa Claus


(x-posted all over the place)

12/5/05 10:21 am - darkbeethoven

Twas The Night Before Finals



Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,
The students were praying for last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds
While visions of essays danced in their heads.

Out in the taverns, a few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor would loosen their thinking.
In my own room, I had been pacing
And dreading exams I soon would be facing.

My roommate was speechless, his nose in his books,
And my comments to him drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee, and brewed a new pot,
No longer caring that my nerves were all shot.

I stared at the notes, but my thoughts were muddy,
My eyes went a blur, I just couldn't study.
"Some pizza might help," I said with a shiver,
But each place I called refused to deliver.

I'd nearly concluded that life was too cruel,
With futures depending on grades made in school
When all of a sudden, our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put-It-Off ambled inside.

His spirit was careless, his manner was mellow,
All of a sudden, he started to bellow
"On Cliff's notes, on Crib notes, On Last Year Exams.
On Wing-It and Sling-It and Last Minute Crams."

His message delivered, he vanished from sight,
But we heard him laughing outside in the night
"Your teachers have pegged you, so just do your best,
Happy Finals to All, and to all a Good Test!"




Happy Finals To All, And To All A Good Test! :D

11/15/05 12:40 pm - darkbeethoven - Let's celebrate finals!!!

This is the last one for today :D




During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criteria is that defines whether a patient should be institutionalized or not. "Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub with water, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the water out of the tub."

Okay, here's your test:
1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?

your results...Collapse )

So how did you do? I'm typing this from my padded cell

11/11/05 11:08 am - darkbeethoven

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

10/18/05 01:00 pm - darkbeethoven

HERE'S a sex-ed class for you!

 

9/12/05 08:08 pm - stephiesama - just thought i'd share this...

This sign is on our residence hall director's office door... Spell check, anyone?

8/24/05 03:01 pm - darkbeethoven - Stressing...

So I was stressed about the fact that I had two research projects due in two different classes at the same time. One for English, and one for my Hotel/Restaurant Management course (I'm majoring in Restaurant Management). Well, the one for HRM has to do, obviously, with a restaurant, bathrooms, etc. You know, stuff to do with the Hospitality industry. So I decided that I would do Haunted Hotels in America. Basically, we have to find a top-10 list of whatever our subject is. So I still had to find a research project for English...



...until it occured to me that these two professors don't compare class notes, homework, etc. So I decided that I'm going to do two copies of ONE report. Anyone else ever come across something like this? I figure if I can get away with stealing my last-minute papers from some obscure website to pass English 101, I can pull this off no problem =^_^=



It's great being the typical procrastinating lazy college student XD

6/15/05 06:36 pm - darkbeethoven

Sometimes I wonder about the school I go to...



I was walking through the hall yesterday when I saw some "Caution - Wet Floor" signs.



Didn't think too much about it...



...until I noticed we were on CARPET....

5/11/05 08:37 am - darkbeethoven - Genked from gdlm

Not really having to do with this community, but it's pissing me off, so it needs to be heard...




"For those of you who have always dreamed of living in a fascist or tyrannical state where you're required to carry and present a national ID at all times, you've got your wish. Guess what was tacked onto the end of the $82,000,000,000 Iraq Supplemental Spending Bill?

The RealID act has passed the senate 100-0. Anyone who was considering leaving the country "if things get any worse" after the election, this would be your cue.

Under this law everyone in the US is required to have a machine readable national ID with photo and barcode. Your personal history is tied to it in a database. It must include your real physical and permanent adress, no P.O. boxes allowed. So if you're looking to kill some cop who busted you or some judge or kidnap some rich guy's kids, you'll know where to find them. I'm sure private companies will love to find ways to get you to scan them at various places so they can build their own databases with no privacy restrictions at all.

Oh don't worry, things aren't as bad as they seem. They're worse. There's also another interesting little tidbit tagged onto this thing. It's nothing major, just some little law dealing with beefing up border security around San Diego and stuff. What harm could that do?



II. Waiver of Laws to Facilitate Barriers at Border44

Section 102 of the IIRIRA generally provides for construction and strengthening of barriers along U.S. land borders and specifically provides for 14 miles of barriers and roads along the border near San Diego, beginning at the Pacific Ocean and extending eastward. IIRIRA § 102(c) provides for a waiver of the Endangered Species Act of 1973 (ESA)45 and the National Environmental Policy Act of 1969 (NEPA)46 to the extent the Attorney General determines is necessary to ensure expeditious construction of barriers and roads...

H.R. 418 [the Real ID Act of 2005] would provide additional waiver authority over laws that might impede the expeditious construction of barriers and roads along the border. H.R. 418 would require the Secretary of Homeland Security to waive any and all laws that he determines necessary, in his sole discretion, to ensure the expeditious construction of barriers and roads under IIRIRA § 102...

Section 102 of H.R. 418 would amend the current provision to require the Secretary of Homeland Security to waive any law upon determining that a waiver is necessary for the expeditious construction of the border barriers. Additionally, it would prohibit judicial review of a waiver decision or action by the Secretary and bar judicially ordered compensation or injunction or other remedy for damages alleged to result from any such decision or action.



Basically, we now have a law that's immune to judges and gives someone the right to just ignore any other laws. No that's right, the Supreme Court can't even touch this thing, because it's exempt from judicial review. Yes let me hear you cry "But they can't do that, it's unconstitutional!" Let's look at the constitution, Article 3 Section 2:


In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a State shall be Party, the supreme Court shall have original Jurisdiction. In all the other Cases before mentioned, the supreme Court shall have appellate Jurisdiction, both as to Law and Fact, with such Exceptions, and under such Regulations as the Congress shall make.


Someone is going to argue that because of this, Congress has the right to make unchallengable laws. Sneaking it through on the back of this minor law will set a precedent that can be used against a challenge later. Of course, if we wanted to get the constitution correctly interpreted on the matter that would require a supreme court ruling, but from now on it seems any laws the majority of congress likes can be exempt from that, locking them in forever.


Not good news huh? Think the Democrats are going to do jack shit? The bill passed 100-0. Not a single opposing vote. Either nobody read it, nobody cared, or they were bought.



Welcome to the new America. Please leave your freedom at the door."



So now, can I PLEASE find a way to get Bush out of office, and preferably, out of this life?!?
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